A few weeks ago a strange thing happened. I was stood in front of my wardrobe, trying to work out what the hell I wanted to put on my body that day, when I suddenly realised that all of my clothes are really old. Really, really old.
Admittedly, some of them are old on purpose; the vintage ballgowns I bought off eBay, and the stuff I inherited/stole from my mother. But a lot of the rest of it is just…old. Not in an exciting, vintage-y way, just in a faded, slightly bobbly, seam falling down-y kind of way. And I have never realised it before.
I used to buy a lot of clothes, you see. I started at the University of Birmingham the very week the bullring opened, and so almost inevitably, 50% of my student loan went in Topshop (the other 50% went in the Bristol Pear). And I’ve been living off those clothes for years. I thought this was fine.
Then I remembered about the passing of time, and how much it likes to mess with my brain.
Because, much as I hate to admit it, my university days aren’t all that recent anymore. I graduated almost six years ago, so clothes I bought in my first year are the best part of a decade old. AN ACTUAL DECADE. Which maybe explains why they’re so tatty now.
Sure, I’ve picked up a few things since uni; mostly jeans, and some plain t-shirts, and a few asos dresses. But over the past two or three years, I’ve stopped doing even that, because I went a bit mad, forgot how to eat normally, and decided I hated shopping.
I hated having to guess at what size I was, and whether I was fatter or thinner than last time I shopped. I hated seeing myself in dressing room mirrors. I hated the complete uncertainty on whether or not an item of clothing would fit. And I always tried to convince myself that it wasn’t worth me really buying anything, because I was going to lose a load of weight soon.
But of late, I’ve been putting in a buttload of effort to be less mad about food. And I’ve got myself into an exercise regime. And I think my weight is kind of close to stabilizing, and my uni-bought clothes are definitely close to falling apart, and my sewing skills are improving. So, I’ve decided, it’s new clothes time.
Unfortunately, stupid self-control voice means that I have to be “sensible” about this wardrobe overhaul, and can’t just buy everything all at once. But what I can do it buy one item of clothing a month, and make another.
So this month has been my beloved GREEN JEANS, which I found in mid-March but wouldn’t allow myself to buy until April payday, and my Bastardly Complex Teadress, which tested my new-found sewing skills. And next month will be NEON BLUE JEANS, and Bastardly Complex Teadress The Next Generation. Or perhaps Flouncy Skirt the First. I’ll decide nearer the time.
And in my brain, this is the best plan since Operation Quit the Booze. Because not only do I get nice things each month, I can also hopefully avoid the clothing apocalypse I’ve found myself in.
Because nobody ever wants a clothing apocalypse.